It's moments like these when I look around and expect some natural disaster to come sweep the whole family away or something- because how good is my life, really? And not that I don't believe God wants goodness for us, but I know that there is lots of goodness and loveliness in this world and there is also a whole lot of pain. So, I look at those sweet faces and at Joel as he runs along behind Sam and I think, " Savor it Jenny, just savor it."
A friend the other day was talking about how her life looks pretty different than what she imagined it would look like and it got me thinking what I thought mine would. I think I thought I'd have about 12 children, some adopted, some not. Maybe living in Africa. In a hut. Some superstar Christian mama or teacher who grew a huge garden and tended to it while wearing a child on her back. Who taught English and helped birth babies.
So, I guess that's pretty different than sitting on the front porch of a nice house in a nice, clean city with four healthy, happy children and a super handsome husband. Sometimes it's hard for me to reconcile that, you know? And maybe someday we will live in a hut in Africa- maybe when it's less about my pride and being a superstar anything! Maybe when I've learned that no matter where we are, it is only by His grace and strength that we can love those around us well.
Oh, this family of mine. How I hope to love them well. Out of abundance from Him, not out of what I can scrape up on my own. They are precious, each one, and I want to value these moments I have with them. Truly value them, like I was valued as a child and like I saw my mom value my dad.
All these things swirled around in my mind as I sat on our front porch watching these ordinary moments go by, thinking how quickly things can change through time or circumstance and wishing I could stop it, just for this moment.
That's all for now friends, Jen