We all know that motherhood isn't often glamorous. It's full of the nitty gritty, every day kind of love and selflessness, and I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm a pretty plane jane kind of girl and prefer a pretty simple life. However, sometimes I like to feel a bit "together", you know? Like our days are intentional in many aspects, from schooling to activities to home life and menu planning.
Right now, not so much. To be honest, I never felt like I quite "caught up" in life after having Jubilee. Never finished that transition to three littles, two at a very different age and stage than the third. Then, surprise!, a new pregnancy and all of the exhaustion and sickness that comes with that, joyous news as it is! It can leave a mama feeling....less than, a bit chaotic, and often like we are "just making it through the day". I know it's just a season, and things will even out, but in the midst of it it is hard to remember that.
So, in these slightly chaotic days, I want to be honest in my overwhelm, but also keep thankfulness at the forefront. Because, really, in the big picture there is SO much to be joyful about.
So, as I lie here in bed, next to a feverish, sleeping little boy and not feeling lovely myself, instead of feeling panicky about the week to come (mainly it's what to do with a precious but needy and busy 14 month old when I'm not feeling great) or telling myself to "get it together!", I'll just jot down some of the many, many things I have to be thankful for.
This guy. For example, right now he is walking with the girls down to the train station (in the snow) to ride the new Trax line to Provo. Something that sounds like NO fun to me, but I'm so thankful he enjoys taking them on those adventures. He has been like that since S and A were infants- not at all overwhelmed by the logistics that would totally stress me out.
He also takes them to do things like this- give one of his patients a shell from our trip to Oregon like he promised the man he would. "Daddy's patients" are always on their hearts, and he really is instilling in them a genuine love and compassion for people.
Thankful for these two and how much they laugh together. These days it's often about burps and silliness that isn't super amusing to me, so I'm very happy they have each other to giggle with.:)
Thankful for how little Jubilee has fallen in love with books this past month or so. I mean, she LOVES them. She climbs up in this chair of Amelia's and looks at them, she carries around her little stool and sits and looks at them, she lays down and looks at them (cutest thing I've ever seen)....this coincided with getting in ALL four of her molars at basically the same time, so in some weeks that have seen lots of fussiness, this has been an extra delightful diversion.
Christmas and the festiveness and, in this year's case, the calmness it brings. We are keeping it simple folks. Our calendar isn't crowded, I don't have 25 advent activities we must do (I have a list of fun things I hope to do, but I'm keeping it to myself and they are surprised each time I manage to follow through on one:), we are reading a short advent reading each night, and only doing one gift per child (albeit big, in our opinion), which means I was able to not stress about that! So far, cinnamon applesauce ornaments, snow dough, decorating the tree, some St. Nicholas day fun, ice skating with their daddy, a trip to the aquarium to see the penguins (we are learning about them in school), and reading lots and lots of winter and Christmas books.
The last one is of an "ornament snowman" that Sam thought of and created all on his own. So clever,Sammy! He is our number one Christmas fan! He loves, loves, loves all of it! The lights, the decorating, the books, the crafts, the music, and hopefully one day grasping (as much as we humans can) the significance of Christ coming down to earth as a humble babe in order to reconcile us to our God. What a wonder!
I guess I'll end here for now. Going to try and get some rest alongside Sam while the rest of the gang in gone. Love to you this season, even if you too feel like you don't have "it all together", hopefully we can turn it to thankfulness and joy. Jen